Care for Yourself as an Empath

Empath, Empath Care, Energy Healing, Healing Touch, Health Tips, Storytelling, Wellness Tips

Are you an Empath? Do you pick up and feel the emotions and feelings of others?

While walking through a beautiful wooded park, observing wildlife and listening to the birds, I felt the calm and peace of nature. Later my route took me past a high school parking lot. There I noticed lots of trash and bits of refuse littering the ground, some of it in the woods closest to the parking lot. There were fast food wrappers, dirty cups lids and straws, smashed plastic bits, unrecognizable items, dirty COVID masks, plastic bags…

Feeling angry about the clutter, I started picking up these items, one at a time. I held them in my hands, as I hadn’t come prepared to carry such a large volume of junk back to my own garbage can.

My peace and calm of earlier dissolved into frustration. Thoughts flashed through my mind …“How could someone be so thoughtless? How could this trash continue to pile up week after week…? Why don’t people clean up after themselves?…”

Eventually I couldn’t hold any more trash in my two hands, so I had to leave most of the debris behind, and make my way home. I felt angry about having to clean up after others who should know better… frustrated by my walk being weighed down and cut short by the junk I picked up.

All this dirty, useless, and smashed stuff I carried home in my hands diminished the quality of my walk and my time in nature. When I got home, I felt more frustrated, even after I threw away my two large handfuls of non-biodegradable waste.

Later I realized, as much as I wanted to, it was not my job to clean up the woods and and parking lot single handedly. I could come back with a box full of 12 garbage bags, clean up, haul them home to my garbage can, then come back the next day to even more debris. This was not my problem to solve. Clean up has to be the shared responsibility of those who generate the trash.

How does picking up litter and trash thrown out by others relate to living as an empath? Bear with me for a bit…

Emotions are energy! Our thoughts and feelings are all energy that can be picked up by sensitive people and empaths. The auras, or energy fields of empaths seem to be more porous than the general population. In this way, empaths pick up the energetic debris of strong emotions others toss out into the world or deny in themselves. (Like litter in a parking lot others don’t even notice.)

We pick up the energetic imprints of unexpressed emotion and strong feelings, and are weighed down by them as we carry them with us through life. (Like me carrying others’ refuse home with me.)

It’s difficult to know how to release them once they’re in our energy fields. Some of us may not even realize the feelings weighing us down belong to others. Even if we know these are not our feelings, we may feel it’s our responsibility to carry them with us. We may feel that we’re helping others by picking up and feeling their strong emotions. But this is not the case!

Try these easy exercises for empaths.

Ask two questions: When you feel a strong emotion that seemingly came out of nowhere, ask: “Is this mine? Does this belong to someone else?” Notice and trust your intuition about the origin of these feelings.

Ground with Earth Energy. For best results, Make this a daily practice. You can walk barefoot on the lawn or beach, massage your feet, top, sides and bottom, or rub your soles with a stainless steel spoon. These will open the energy vortexes in the soles of your feet and help you draw in Earth energy. When you are grounded, you can also discharge energy that you discern is not yours through your feet. It helps to visualize this unwanted energy draining into the Earth.

Strengthen your Aura. To keep your aura more “tightly woven” and less porous, build energy in your hands by rubbing your palms together. Then, begin making figure eight crossover patterns with both arms, as wide as they can reach. Let this be a rhythmic motion, allowing your body arms and hands to swing in arcs back and forth in the soothing figure eight motion.

Then you can do smaller crossover figure eight patterns with your fingers and hands, paying special attention to the energy field surrounding you, close to or on the body Let your intuition show you where. I always feel better after tracing figure eights on my upper chest and heart area. Once again, it helps to do this daily.

More Resources:

If your empathic gifts feel overwhelming, book an appointment with me, either in person or distance, and we’ll go over easy energy techniques to help you discern what is yours and what belongs to others, and to set strong boundaries to keep your energy clear, grounded, and resilient.

From time to time, I offer a Self Care for Empaths Class. Watch my class page for upcoming dates. shamanichealingofames.com/classes-with-betty/

For more on living well as an empath this is a great book: The Empaths Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People by Judith Orloff, MD

5 Calming Energy Tips for Parents and Kids

Energy Healing, Healing Touch, Health Tips, Wellness for Children, Wellness Tips

Have you ever noticed that when you are anxious, upset, or unsettled, your little ones, even your tweens and teens are often fussy, upset, and anxious too? There is more than a little truth in this pearl of wisdom – ‘When Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.’ ( You could substitute ‘Daddy’ in this old saying too.)

In a household, everyone lives within a sea of energy. Everyone’s personal aura (or energy field) overlaps and picks up information from everyone else’s energy fields.

Because of this, children sense the energy of the emotions, thoughts, and feelings you are radiating. Sensitive children may also absorb them and take them on as their own.

Children sense the mood of each person around them picking up on impatience, joy anger, fear, depression, unhappiness. In this way they are learning from the adults and other children around them.

Energy doesn’t lie! You can’t pretend to feel something you don’t feel on an energetic level in order to protect or shield your children from these emotions. If you try to put a happy face on your sadness, anger, fear, or other emotions you might not want to share, your kids will see right through that. They will be able to sense the disconnect between what they are experiencing about you and what you are communicating to them on an energetic level.

Ways to help…

If your kids are nervous, anxious, upset, fussy, first take stock of your own energy and take care of yourself. How are you feeling?

Where do you feel your emotion in your body? Is your heart tight, your throat constricted, your stomach full of butterflies, your gut unsettled? Are you nervous, anxious, stressed, unable to sit still or focus for any length of time?

Have your kids do this too. This can help them develop emotional literacy skills.

First, bring your awareness to your body and locate your emotions (throat, heart, etc). Give them loving attention while breathing deeply. If you don’t have time to do this practice, move on to some of these calming exercises and try the emotional processing when you are ready.

Do these yourself, then teach these easy exercises to your kids! They can help you calm stress and anxiety so you will be more on top of your game, more present in your body, and your children will react more peacefully to your calmer energy.

Getting Grounded

Pretend to be a tree with deep roots. Breathe in the Earth’s energy through your imaginary roots. Let it fill your feet legs hips and trunk, then reach your branches up to the sunlight. Take several deep breaths pulling the air from your deep roots to your stretching branches over head. Imagine soaking in the sunlight through your leaves to fuel your growth and pulling water up through your roots to nourish you.

Heart hold and tone:

When feeling stressed or anxious, hold your heart chakra with both palms on the center of your chest. Let your awareness drop down into your heart. Take a few deep breaths while holding your heart. Now continue holding and make an AH sound at a pitch that you can feel in your heart. Keep going until you feel a shift in your energy, or mood.

Figure eights:

Make figure 8s with your arms, swinging them out and around and crossing the center-line of your body. Swing your hips too if you like. Draw them in the air in front of your head, your neck, your upper body, lower body, legs, feet. Make them any size you like.

for areas of pain or tension, try Tiny figure 8s directly on the body using your fingertips. you can also draw them large on a chalkboard, whiteboard or sidewalk, using your whole body and getting your arms into it. Kids love this! This also helps strengthen your aura. (Eden)

Calming head hold:

When the fight or flight response kicks in; when you feel panicky or fearful, hold your forehead with one palm, and the base of the skull with the other. Hold and breathe for several minutes until you feel calmer and able to think more clearly. (Eden)

Self hug – two variations:

Put the fingers of your right hand in your left armpit. Hold your right bicep with your left hand. Hold and breathe while for a bit until you feel a shift in your energy. Switch sides and hold again. (Levine) Another variation – hold the outside of your elbow with one hand and with the other hug your opposite side under breast level about midway between your waist and armpit. Switch and do the other side. ( Eden)

Sources: Eden,Donna; Energy Medicine: Balancing your Body’s Energies for Optimal Health, Joy and Vitality; 2008.

Levine, Peter A.; Healing Trauma: A Pioneering Program for Restoring the Wisdom of Your Body; 2008.

For Empaths During the Pandemic

Empath, Empath Care, Energy Healing, Healing, Healing Touch, Health Tips

If you are an empath – sensitive to the feelings vibrations and emotions of others- you may be experiencing a great weight of anxiety stress and fear from the world’s population during the coronavirus pandemic

It may feel like low level rumblings, crushing anxiety or huge fatigue. However you experience the collective angst of many millions, it is important for you to recognize and release what is not yours so you can take care of yourself.

First, ground yourself by walking barefoot on the Earth or rubbing the soles of your feet with a stainless steel spoon. Rub your hands together to build up energy, then make figure eights throughout your energy field, close to the body, off the body, larger, smaller, tiny, in all directions. This will strengthen your aura, the protective energy field around you.

Now ask that any emotions feelings and thoughts (all energy) that belong to others drain through your feet into the earth for recycling. (The soles of your feet have chakras that can take on or release energy, but that is a topic for another post.) Do this as needed throughout the day.

It is enough to take care of yourself and your families, to manage your own life, your own situation as best you can. It is not your responsibility to feel the emotions of others, to take on their fears and emotional burdens. It will not help them learn to be emotionally healthy, and it will distract you from your life and add stress and anxiety where it is not needed.

Yes, as human beings, we must have empathy for the plight of others. Caring and kindness define what it means to be human. So do what you can to help others within the constraints of your energy level, your financial means, your emotional limits and personal boundaries, your level of health and vitality, your time.

Most of all, take the best care of yourself you can. Live simply and remember the basics: healthy food, plenty of water, enough sleep, fresh air, exercise, connections with others in safe and healthy ways during this pandemic.

Be safe, we will get through this!

Are You An Empath? 3 Self-care tips

Empath, Empath Care, Energy Healing, Healing Touch, Health Tips, Life Tips, Storytelling, Wellness Tips

You are probably an empath if…

…you absorb the and take on the feelings and emotions or physical symptoms of others, making it hard to tell what’s yours and what’s theirs.

…you feel drained and/or anxious in big box stores, noisy crowds, hospitals, libraries, etc.

…you get sick or exhausted, depleted, anxious or angry after encountering certain people.

One beautiful summer afternoon I sat on my front porch reading. A delivery truck pulled into my driveway near where I was sitting. Immediately my body was flooded with high anxiety!

As I tried to make sense of this sudden shift in my emotional state, My logical brain decided the anxiety could be explained because I didn’t know the truck or the driver, hadn’t ordered any services or furniture… It was an unexpected intrusion into my peaceful day. Then the driver got out of the van, took a bouquet of flowers to my neighbor’s house and drove away.

The anxiety stayed with me even after the van left. After a few minutes of this, I decided to do some discernment and energy testing. I stood up, tuned into my body and stated “This anxiety is mine.” My body responded by falling toward the back, which in self energy-testing terms is a “no”. Now the anxiety made sense. As an empath, I’d picked up the high anxiety of the van driver.

Now that I knew the anxiety wasn’t mine, I asked this energy to drain through my feet into the earth for recycling. I had no more need to feel this feeling. It was detracting and distracting from my peaceful day. Draining the energy away works when you are well grounded, in other words, plugged into Earth energy.

This method of clearing yourself works because emotions and feelings are composed of energy. Each of us holds our thoughts feelings and emotions in our auras, otherwise known as energy fields. The stronger and more charged the emotion of another person, the easier it is for a nearby empath to pick it up. Our auras also seem to be more porous than the energy fields of non-empaths, allowing in energies others would easily filter out.

As a life- long empath I’ve learned some easy ways to keep myself clear of the moods, emotions, feelings, and energies of others that I have not specifically invited in. Here are 3 of the most helpful techniques I use daily.

Three ways to keep yourself clear as an empath.

1. Stay grounded

Two easy ways to get grounded are rubbing the soles of your bare feet with a stainless steel spoon, and walking barefoot on the Earth. When you feel agitated or nervous, when you can’t settle, ground yourself. Getting grounded allows you to plug into your power source, Earth energy, and pull this energy into your body.

Think of an electric lamp. If the lamp is not plugged in, it can’t light up, no matter what you do. When you are plugged in, your energy is more coherent, you feel anchored to the earth in a healthy way, and you can discharge excess energy through your feet.

2. Strengthen your aura

An easy way to keep your aura strong and less porous is to make figure 8 patterns with your hands, fingers, arms, body. First rub your palms together for a few seconds. Now, make the eights tiny, make them huge, on or off the body, in your aura, up and down, sideways, diagonally. Let your hands go to areas that need extra attention. (This technique is from Donna Eden)

Have fun with this! Kids love it! Think of this exercise as reweaving or sewing your loosely woven aura together again with the electromagnetic energy of your hands. This will help your aura filter out the energy of others and draw in the energies of health, well being, and harmony. Figure eights are also very calming!

3. Set boundaries with other people, your life energy, your time.

You may need to set boundaries and withdraw from large events, big crowds, or stay away from certain people. You may not want to hug Grandma or a church acquaintance. It may be in your best interest to stay home from a big family holiday or reunion and wait for a time you can meet your favorite relatives one on one.

Trust your intuition and give yourself what you need. Taking care of yourself as an empath is vital! Please don’t judge yourself for needing to set boundaries in ways others might not understand. Be kind and loving to yourself and tell others no when that is in your best interest.

If you do not take care of your needs, you may get resentful, energetically depleted and perhaps even sick. Take ownership of your life and your energy so you can focus on your own projects, your own life without getting sidetracked by the strong emotions of family and random people.

Gifts of empaths

We empaths can bring great sensitivity and caring into a world that needs our gifts. We are often the healers, therapists, clergy, the spiritual advisors, teachers, the plant and animal whisperers, the artists in our communities.

Tune into your purpose as an empath. Take care of yourself. Own and honor your gifts! Share them when you are ready. You are needed here!

It is not easy to go through life as an empath! But it is possible to live your life in a manner that will truly honor your gifts and your needs for boundaries so your life experience is truly your own!

Your first energy healing session – What to expect

Energy Healing, Healing, Healing Touch

Getting to know each other

So, you’ve decided to try energy healing… Maybe you want to calm anxious thoughts, relieve stress, ease insomnia, receive support for grief… Whatever your reason for coming, you are welcome here!

Welcome to my healing room!

When you come for your first energy healing session, we get to know each other a bit, and discuss your intentions for health and healing. We zero in on your goals for this first session in particular. I ask about any concerns you have, any history you would like to share with me about your health- emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual.

Feel free to ask me anything about myself if you like. If you’ve never had energy healing, I’ll describe the process in as much detail as you want.

Remember, its normal to feel nervous before receiving energy healing for the first time!

Your comfort is important!

When you feel ready to begin, I’ll have you take off your shoes and lay on your back on the massage table, fully clothed. If you feel chilly, there are plenty of warm blankets nearby, and you can have a bolster under your knees for comfort. You can choose to use the grounding pad if you like. Soft and peaceful music plays in the background.

Permission to touch

Before we begin, I ask for your permission to touch you. If you prefer not to be touched, I can do the energy healing work off the body, in your energy field. Of course, distance or remote healing is always an option as well if that serves your needs better. (For this post, I’ll describe the session as though you are here in person)

Photo courtesy of ABMP

To begin

The session begins with me gently holding your shoulders (if you have given permission to touch). In this way, I tune my awareness to your subtle energy.

While holding your shoulders, I also ground myself and align with source energy, bringing myself fully into the present moment.

Energy assessment

Next, using my pendulum, I check your major chakras, from your root chakra at the base of the spine to your crown at the top of your head. The assessment lets me know which chakras are spinning properly and which seem sluggish or blocked. This is valuable information regarding your energetic health.

Then, using the palms of my hands, sometimes inches and sometimes more than a foot from your body, I scan your aura, also called your energy field, from head to toe. I may sense areas of heat or coolness, dense energy, a tingling, a prickliness, or lack of energy flow…an energy spike…

Communicating

During the session if you feel any discomfort, have a question or an insight, please let me know. The healing techniques can be adjusted if needed. I may have a question for you as well..

Relaxing

It’s natural to feel yourself beginning to relax as the session gets underway. If relaxation is difficult for you, don’t worry. Its a skill you can learn over time as you continue to receive healing sessions.

As you relax, I gently balance and harmonize your chakras and clear your energy field with my hands. My intuition guides me to the areas that need attention and the techniques that will be most helpful for you.

Photo courtesy of ABMP

Your experience

Each person experiences energy healing differently. You may feel energy moving through your limbs and body, a tingling, a bubbliness, slight feelings of pressure. You might see colors and even have a spiritual experience.

You might feel a need to make sounds or express a truth you’ve kept in for a long time. You may cough sneeze or yawn a few times. Your stomach may gurgle… It is all energy moving!

Emotional release

You may also experience an emotional release while on the table. This is a natural and vital part of the healing process!

This may be something you’ve been holding onto for a long time and the time is right for release. It’s important that you feel safe to experience and release emotions as part of your healing process.

Ending the session

After the energy healing, I check your chakras and aura again to make sure your energy is open and flowing. Then I gently smooth your lower legs and feet, grounding you and bringing you back into the here and now. You hear a singing bowl chime to end the session.

You can slowly begin wiggling fingers and toes, gently stretching your body as you need to, and sitting up. If you like, I can smooth your back and shoulders before you step down from the table.

Now is a time for sharing our mutual experience. If you want to talk about the session and what you felt and saw you can do that now. I also let you know what I discovered during the session. There may be some homework and guidance for self care.

What to expect after the session

Its normal to feel calmer and more relaxed after your session. You may feel lighter and more energetic as well.

In the following days

One possible side effect of your first energy session may be what is called a “healing crisis”. Energy work can release toxins into your blood stream to be cleared away.

If the bloodstream gets overloaded, you may feel a bit under the weather for a day or two as the toxins clear out. Drinking lots of water and getting plenty of rest will help. Once again, this is part of the healing process.

You may also experience further emotional release in the days to come. This is normal and healthy! Sitting in meditation and allowing the feelings to come up can be helpful.

photo courtesy of ABMP

The healing continues

Be gentle and kind with yourself. The healing continues long after your session ends. If you need extra support and care, we can do further energy work. If you’re in crisis, weekly or twice a month energy healing might be needed until you’re feeling stabilized again.

Also please consider seeing your therapist or counselor if you need help processing your emotions. Visiting with a trusted friend can also help as you heal in mind, body, emotions, and spirit.

Energy healing is an unfolding process. The healing begins within your heart and mind as you set the intention to improve your health and well-being.

Sincerely,

Betty

What integrative healing topics would you like to hear more about? I’d love to read your comments!